Reality Check... Again.

It's been a while, sorry (not sorry), I've been too busy living life now that I'm not sick :)

Unfortunately, I've been partying too hard with the cookies and crackers, and good ol' gluten-pain is back.  I went strictly gluten free on Sunday, and I'm already feeling 75% better!  I've also been having some mild UC symptoms (I do still have a rectum) and have been feeling like I need to go to the bathroom a few times a day, which is a little weird since I don't actually pass food through that part of my body at the moment.  Phantom pooping!  Is that a thing?  Like a phantom limb?

Life has been moving along quickly - work is busy, kids are growing up too fast, Holidays are in full swing, and we even took our first real trip in over 2 years!  We went to Florida to visit husband's father and brother, it was a very nice trip :)

Bahia Honda State Park

On Abuelo's boat

A floating bar!  I wanted to go, but the sun was setting.

It was so nice to travel and not be constantly worried about where the nearest bathroom was... although we did check out some really skeevy gas station rest rooms with our 3-year old.  At least the car seat stayed dry!  We were unsure what to do about traveling with kids and car-seats.  In the end we decided to rent car seats along with our car, and they worked out fine.  We made two different reservations just in case there was a shortage of carseats, but it turned out to be unnecessary.  We did bring our own stroller... though we ended up forgetting it in the keys and had to buy a new one for our trip home!  Turns out $25 umbrella strollers aren't so bad... though they don't compare to napping comfort of our city mini.

I did get to enjoy a trip to Mount Sinai though in early December... though this time I got to be on the outside looking in - my poor mom had a severe intestinal obstruction at the site of her old temporary ileostomy (what I have).  This was her 3rd time in 15 years, but this was by far the scariest - they very nearly performed emergency surgery.  Luckily (?) mom was able to overcome the obstruction without surgery, but she did have to endure the really awful nose tube of hell for about 24 hours.  The doctors wanted to leave it in longer "just in case," but having been on mom's shoes 6 months ago, I made it very clear that that was not an option (I also asked each and every one of those doctors and nurses if they'd ever had one up their own nose... none of them had)!

I am very nervous about my follow up surgeries next summer.  Even if I decide not to be reconnected, I still need to undergo at least one more surgery to remove my rectum (a proctectomy).  Along with that I either get a J-Pouch and reconnected, or I make my ileostomy permanent.  Either way, the surgery is comparable to a c-section incision, with a lot of repair work on the inside, and can be pretty miserable to recover from and requires attentive nurses... which Mt. Sinai doesn't have the best reputation for.  I've had good experiences on their 9th floor GI ward, but the surgery floors 7 and 10 seem to be pretty lacking. My mom had 2 surgeries at Mt. Sinai, one recovery was AWFUL and scary, and the 2nd was great (because of the stink they made about the first one...).  What will mine be??  The doctors are wonderful... but will I be able to endure the recovery??

Sew much fun!

Halloween was approaching, and my almost-3-year-old was consistently saying that she wanted to be Ariel (The Little Mermaid) this year.

Work had been (and still is) crazy, but I'm not sick anymore and Pinterest gave me confidence to tackle my sewing machine with this cute and easy mermaid skirt.  Success!! (Mostly)

I'd never made a ruffle before, but I liked the idea of making a skirt that my daughter could wear beyond Halloween.  I bought a ruffler foot off of Amazon to play with (what a headache that turned out to be), and eventually learned how to make a ruffle by hand (pretty easy!).  Once you get the hang of things, it really is a 30-minute skirt.  I even made a 2nd!

Unfortunately, she decided that the best way to wear this skirt was to hike it up around her waist and show the world that she is potty trained.  So... I added a panel of fabric in front (between her legs and the skirt) and also attempted to make a pair of "finned" leggings that she could have as a backup/supplement to the skirt.  I was really proud of myself for sewing my first skirt AND pants, but the pants turned out to be more like something you might pair with a flower costume and didn't get used.

Ariel has friends, so we decided to make it a family costume, hooray fun!  My  little boy became Sebastian: red sweatsuit, open claw mittens (so he could still use his hands) and a crab hat.

I was Flounder: Yellow shirt with blue felt spikes sewn down the back and stripes hot-glued on, with a felt & hotglue headband.  My husband was Prince Eric: white shirt, blue jeans, work boots & red fabric tied around waist... and a short wig because, like Disney princesses, Disney princes always have full, flowing manes of hair.  My mother-in-law also participated, dressing as another mermaid with a 2nd skirt that I pulled together.

 Of course, by the time Halloween came around (a week after her costume party birthday), she was over Ariel.  Here's some of what she cycled through on Halloween:

She's Baaa-aaaack!!

The Old Liz is definitely back!

I just struck a deal with myself:

Me:  If you throw out the 2 (almost empty) tubs of frosting in the freezer that you bought last week, you can finish eating the tub of ready-made cookie dough you bought on Monday.

Me: Deal.

Then I executed said deal flawlessly.

This is why yoga pants exist... stretchy so they are comfortable when you eat tubs of cookie dough and frosting, and tight enough to guilt you into doing a few squats or sit-ups when you look in the mirror.  They're the perfect guilt cycle pants.

Grateful Monday?

I cried harder than I have in a long time this morning.  You  know, that little kid tantrum kind of cry, where they pass out?  I need a nap.  My lungs feel so big now that I can breathe again! (Not really anything serious other than the fact that I was very, very offended, frustrated, and hurt - I'm trying to move past it)

My friend makes a habit of listing things she is grateful for every Monday.

I am very grateful for a lot of things this afternoon, such as my recently regained freedom to eat tubs of frosting.  Thank you CVS, that was delicious.

Reality Check

Sooo... I still can't eat whatever I want :(

4 (!!) years ago, I stopped eating gluten to see if a weird abdominal pain I was experiencing would go away... and it did.  Every time I tried eating bread or pasta again, it came back.  I was hopeful that without a large intestine, I could go back to eating normal people food without pain... but the pain has returned.  If I eat gluten occasionally I think I can handle it, but if I eat it several days in a row, I become super uncomfortable.  Last night was AWFUL!  It kept me awake!

So what does my "gluten pain" (as I refer to it) feel like?  Oddly, a bladder infection.  It's a weird bloated/achy/pressure feeling in the vicinity of my bladder, which I've read might actually be my rectum.  When I first started noticing the pain back in 2009, I thought it was my bladder at first, but I noticed that when I peed I didn't feel better... but after a bowel movement the pain went a way.  Sorry if that's too much information, but that's how it is around here.  Now that I temporarily don't poop... I didn't know what to do for pain relief last night!  I still don't know... but luckily it's backed off, now it's just a dull ache.  Last night it hurt to sit or move at all!  I guess that's what I get for enjoying a weekend full of hot dogs, cookies, pasta, cake, fried fish, and beer.  That's enough to make anybody's stomach hurt, right? haha

So... back to gluten free... 95% of the time?