peanut butter treats

One of the weirdest things about becoming accidentally skinny is that I have to add fat to my diet.  As in, I have to try hard to make sure I eat enough fat.  As in, a LOT of fat.

There are a lot of differing opinions out there about which fats are healthy.  We all do what works for us, and I currently use a lot of coconut oil, olive oil, ghee (basically clarified butter), and bacon fat (for flavor!).  I also try not to skim fat out of meat dishes... but sometimes I'm still to grossed out after being raised in 90's America, during the height of the fat-free fad.

But there are some things that everyone appreciates some delicious fats in - even fat-free dieters.
 
DESSERTS!

Things like chocolates... and peanut butter cups...

I may not be allowed to eat chocolate, but I've (carefully) hopped back on the peanut butter train!

I've adapted the coconut oil "frosting" idea into bite size frozen treats, yum!  Great as a high fat snack, or as a satisfying dessert - just a tiny taste can be quite satisfying!

Frozen bite-sized peanut butter treats
quantities are estimates...

• 1/2 cup room temperature coconut oil (not liquid!)
• 1 tbsp peanut butter
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1/8 tsp cinnamon (optional)

1. mix all ingredients well
2. place in silicone molds or place blobs on a small plate or tray lined with foil or parchment
3. put in freezer for 30 minutes
4. pop out of molds or off of tray and put in a ziploc or tupperware.  Store in freezer.

I like to chew them one at a time - they remind me of the insides of a peanut butter cup.  But sometimes I let them melt in my mouth instead :)

Anise vs. Fennel

I added a new spice to my diet yesterday - hooray!

Technically I added 2 by accident.  So much for one at a time, but so far so good, and delicious!

The result?  Delicious meatballs!

Did you know that anise and fennel are NOT the same thing?  Anise seeds are small, and fennel seeds are bigger.  We do not eat the anise plant, we do eat the bulb of the fennel plant.  The flavors are similar, but not quite the same - I always thought I was imagining a difference until I read about it yesterday!  Anise is a little sweeter with an up front kick, while fennel seeds are a softer fuller flavor that isn't quite as in-yo-face.

I love italian sausage, and I've been dreaming about the day that my diet can accommodate a homemade sausage flavored dish.  For my first try, I set out to make up some meatballs.  I was originally aiming for an italian sausage flavor, but the result was quite different since I forgot to add a few crucial italian flavors.  But what a nice meatball I created!

I started by toasting up some anise seeds, and as I was looking at them I thought, boy, these don't smell like sausage to me.  And they look so tiny... so I looked through my spice drawer and found the jar labeled "fennel seeds", and low and behold they were bigger and looked more like the things I see in italian sausage.  So I added some of those to the pan too.  This recipe would absolutely be fine with just one of them, though I do think including so much anise seed made them a little bit sweeter than they would have been with just fennel seed.

Chicken, Garlic & Fennel Meatballs

• around a tsp of anise or fennel seeds or both
• 2 cloves of garlic
• salt and pepper (sorry, i didn't measure)
• 1/2 of a small zucchini, seeded
• around 1/2 cup of pureed butternut squash (or you could just use more zucchini)
• 1 pound of ground chicken
• around 1/4 cup of coconut or olive oil (I think I used olive)

1. Put the seeds in a pan for a couple of minutes, browning them up slightly.
2. Line a baking pan with foil or silpat.
3. Pulse the toasted seeds in a food processor or bullet type mixer until you have a powder.
4. Add everything except the chicken and chop well.
5. Place the chicken in a bowl, mix in your pureed flavors.
6. With wet hands, form 1" meatballs.  You may need to re-wet your hands several times to keep the mixture from sticking to your hands.
7. Bake at 325 for about 35 minutes.  I checked by inserting a toothpick to gauge the resistence, and then cutting in half with a knife to make sure they were cooked through.  (My oven runs hot, so they may require a slightly longer baking time.  I wouldn't recommend a higher temperature or they might dry out.)

These did NOT taste like italian sausage.  The garlic and anise flavors were very strong, but delicious.  The vegetables helped keep them moist, and I couldn't taste the chicken.  The kids LOVED them!  We basically ate them straight up, but they'd be great as a snack with dipping sauce or over pasta (I served with tortellini for the kids, but they both devoured the meatballs on their own first).

Day 90!

I've survived 90 days on this diet!

Good things:

• I apparently have pretty awesome will power
• I lost a lot of weight (too fast), and have stabilized at a pretty good weight for my size, hooray!
• I'm a lot less bloated than I used to be
• I'm eating a lot less sugar and hardly any chemicals
• I have a little less anxiety over food, since the rules of the diet are pretty clear cut.  Before the diet i was very overwhelmed with all of the conflicting advice!  
• I like knowing that I might have taken a major step toward healing my body, even if I can't see it yet

Bad things:

• I'm still missing out on a lot nutritionally since I'm having so much trouble introducing new foods.  
• Life is complicated, so when I have bad days I never know if it was some random factor from life (stress, germs, hormones, sleep) or a new food.
• The diet is a lot of work, often overwhelming.  Sometimes I need a convenience food!  Bananas are the closest thing right now... but unfortunately it seems to be nearly impossible to buy a ripe banana, so if I haven't planned ahead properly (or if my family eats them) it's a problem.
• I'm still sick.  Quite sick.  I appear to be physically healthy, but I still can't leave the house.  My quality of life is currently pretty low in that regard.  Interrupted sleep and lots of bathroom anxiety.  
• So, so many of the recipes recommended for this diet include dairy and/or eggs... both of which I've ruled out for a while.  I don't even plan to try nuts or peanuts again for at least a few more weeks... BORING.  I need to hurry up and find some vegetables that I can introduce successfully!!  What vegetables don't cause gas or irritate?  So few!  Everything is either a nightshade, a legume, or related to broccoli.  And greens are out too... since spinach was a big fail.  I'm serious... what else is there?  I'm currently eating carrots, winter and summer squashes and asparagus.  Next up is... beets?  Is that all there is?  I might try tomatoes or peppers soon too, even though they're nightshades.  Dying to add in garlic and onion, but they're crazy gas producers...

Moving forward, I:

• Will stick to the rules for at least a little while longer, hoping to get a stretch of relatively little stress and germs, see if i can finally establish a baseline of "safe" foods
• Will consider adding in digestive enzymes to see if they help
• Will continue with Entyvio treatments
• Will continue with the idea of reintroducing foods to try to pinpoint intolerances
• Will avoid eggs at all costs (I think that's what sent me into my recent downward spiral... which is in alignment with past experience)
• Might relax the rules of the diet if I don't see major improvement kick in soon... things like jarred applesauce and canned tomatoes might become acceptable in my m ind... right now they're "illegal" because they MIGHT be made with sugar that isn't listed on the label.

Desperation Recipe of the day: Coconut oil glazed frozen banana coins

Ingredients:

• Frozen banana
• Liquid Coconut Oil (microwave for 30 seconds if solid)

Instructions:

1. Slice frozen banana into coins
2. Dip in coconut oil, place on a plate or parchment for a moment to so that coconut oil will harden around banana
3. Consume immediately (banana melts fast and turns liquidy and weird)

A birthday with no cake!

My birthday was this weekend... and there was no cake in sight!  Very sad, but at the same time I'm very proud of myself for persevering with this diet.  Maybe I should have made a ground beef cake... eeeew.  I did break down and let myself have some honey, so at least I got to have a taste of something sweet.  I tried adapting this recipe for coconut oil "frosting" with semi-success (see recipe below).

Today is day 16 of this new eating plan... and unfortunately I don't think it has gotten any easier.  I've stopped crying, but I am BORED and FRUSTRATED!!  My belly hasn't really improved much in the past week or so, but I'm still better than I was a few weeks ago.  I almost never feel bloated, and the air bubbles that bring on cramps and the other issues that no one wants to read about seem to be limiting themselves to later evening and early morning most days.  Hooray for being able to leave the house during the day!

I'm getting really sick of eating the same foods over and over... even though I'm changing up my meat selection frequently, it's still meat.  I'm hungry often lately, but I think it's the kind of hunger that stems from being bored and tired (I have 2 small children, I'm always tired).  I've tried to up my fat intake a bit (more coconut oil, skimming homemade stock a little less), and even attempted a pseudo chicken "gravy"  (see recipe below) that has helped a little.  My weight has stabilized at 140; I lost about 10 pounds in the first 10 days on this new eating plan, yikes!  Great for my pants, but that can't be healthy!  Also, I've turned orange.

I'm orange! Too many carrots!

In an effort to fight the boredom, I've broken the rules about waiting 3 days between introducing new items on several occasions, especially since I've been trying to clear a window around times when I taper my Prednisone dosage.  Now, in addition to all kinds of meat/fish, homemade broth, and pureed carrots I am eating:

• meat (red meat, pork, poultry)
• fish
• well cooked carrots
• acorn squash
• butternut squash
• coconut oil
• thyme (fresh and ground)
• cinnamon
• ginger
• lemon
• honey
• "juice" from homemade sauerkraut (for some probiotics)

I added back in my vitamin, but I took it out again after being indecisive.  I also tried pears (it was so exciting!) but they made me super bloated and uncomfortable, and it took several days for things to calm down again, booooo.  

Next up is spinach, followed by homemade yogurt.  Then I'm thinking zucchini and garlic... I got a spiralizer for my birthday and want to use it to make some delicious pasta!  And maybe eggs are on the horizon (holding off on these until I'm a little less symptomatic)... when I can have eggs and yogurt and honey, there's a recipe for cheesecake!  And then there's butter... and bananas... banana "ice cream" anyone?

Coconut Oil "Frosting"

1. Using a metal spoon, scrape (you don't want chunks, but it won't work if it's melted liquid either) about a tablespoon of coconut oil from the jar
2. Add a little bit of honey and stir vigorously
3. Enhance with cinnamon, salt, ginger, or anything else available... but beware it may affect texture.  I tried adding a little bit of squash with mixed results (it's no substitute for peanut butter)
4. Enjoy tiny tastes with tiny spoon... it will last longer that way.  I use one of my baby's spoons!

SCD Intro diet appropriate "gravy"

1. Cook a chicken in your crockpot, seasoned with salt, pepper, and fresh thyme (6 to 8 hrs on low)
2. Ladle out most of the liquid and transfer to a small saucepan
3. Simmer until volume is reduced by half (intensifying flavor)
4. Use as watery gravy... it's been helpful for moisturizing chicken and adds some flavor... in later stages I've read it's good to use pureed onions as a thickener, but for now there aren't really any thickening options.  Maybe I'll try a tiny bit of squash... but then my gravy will taste like squash.